I thought we could wing it. I mean, I thought I already knew the basics of looking after a baby, and we had most things ready. Being a first-time mum, I was slammed with information overload, so my brain decided it’s had enough and we would tackle things as they come. Besides a few hospital-hosted sessions on ‘all you need to know about having a baby’ and a couple of breastfeeding how-to videos, I picked up random tips here and there, but felt fairly confident we should manage.

In hindsight, I still think we did well. There was no frantic rushing out to buy things we missed or hysterical crying on my part from post-baby blues. In fact, I felt we both slept fairly well. Feeding and figuring out what baby wanted ended up being our biggest struggle.

Feeding and Sleeping
Babies unfortunately don’t come with a manual, and every newborn is different. Madi was an absolute angel with feeding and sleeping during the first week. Hubby and I literally had moments where we looked at each other after putting her to sleep, thinking, ‘that wasn’t so bad!’.

Little did we know that come the second week, Madi would wake up crying five minutes after putting her down to sleep, despite a full feed. She was also unsettled during the day no matter what we tried to do for her. What I didn’t know was that a lack of routine and a tendency to immediately feed her whenever she cried was causing stomach pains and a build-up of gas. We felt she must be suffering from colic and tried giving her some anti-colic drops, which seemed to work for a day or two, before the fussing restarted. Eventually by week 4, I got some baby blues, shed a tear or two for feeling like a failure, and would be hit with anxiety every evening, thinking of the long night ahead. I was desperate to try anything at this point.

Luckily, help came in the form of a book called Save Our Sleep by Tizzie Hall. This was sent to me by my sister-in-law in a pile of baby items. I was skeptical, but it gave me something to try, and surprisingly, Madi took to the routines extremely well. After two weeks, I felt some semblance of normality return. At the very least, I could now find time to eat, shower, and even do quick chores without balancing a baby in my arms.

I need to caution not to take everything in it as gospel. Every child is different and the methods are not fool-proof. After a week of following the book’s routine and hitting all the timings, Madi regressed to crying for prolonged periods when I tried to get her to self settle. This happened particularly during evenings for her bedtime. My heart could not put up with her cries after a while, so I have switched to lying down next to her, patting her to sleep, and leaving when she’s in a deep sleep. While the book promotes self-settle, Tizzie stresses it’s different from ‘controlled crying’, which may cause negative psychological impact on a baby.

I also did not swaddle her after the first two weeks post-birth as I found she tended to overheat (it’s also hot and humid here at the moment) and would struggle out within minutes. However, I do cover her belly with a muslin cloth and tucked the ends over her arms and underneath her to restrict some movement. This seem to make her fall asleep faster.

That said, I still highly recommend all new mothers to give the book a try. In summary though, it really comes down to having a routine that is literally feed, burp, play, sleep, and repeat. I also can’t stress how important correct burping is if you want to reduce gas.

Lastly, there is no set method or miracle cure. Do what your parental instincts and loving heart says is best for your child (and sanity!).